Monday, March 17, 2008

Bill Frist’s VOLPAC poll

“VOLPAC” is the “Volunteer Political Action Committee” chaired by the renowned neurological video-diagnostician Bill Frist. He posted a poll today that—well, shows every sign that the delusion of the GOP is still running strong. Here’s the poll, with some additional suggested answers:

2008 Republican Leadership Survey

1. Do you remain supportive of the "Surge" strategy in Iraq?
• Yes
• No
• That was a strategy?
• There was a strategy?
• Didn’t President Bush declare “Mission Accomplished” a few years ago?
2. Is the threat of a Democrat Senate majority confirming a Democrat President's Supreme Court nominee a strong motive for you to vote Republican this fall?
• Yes
• No
• Not a top concern
• Would rather have a Supreme Court nominee who respected personal freedoms.
• Would rather have a Supreme Court nominee who respected habeus corpus.
• Would rather have a Supreme Court nominee who wasn’t a slavish groupie of a corrupt political party.
• Would rather you grew the heck up and start using “Democratic” properly, you simpering juvenile.
3. Which of the following domestic issues is most important to you?
• Out of control spending
• The threat of an open borders policy
• Tax increases
• A government-financed universal healthcare bureaucracy
• Liberal Congress legislating social issues with a Democrat White House
• Judicial nominations
• Reducing corruption in the House and Senate.
• Not having the government listen to all my phone conversations and read all my Internet traffic.
• Teaching Republicans how to spell “Democratic” properly.
4. The most obvious negative impacts of a Democrat majority in Congress have been felt on the national security front. Of the issues listed below, which is most important to you?
• Allowing the "Surge" strategy time to work
• Renewing President Bush's terrorist surveillance program
• Implementing real border security
• Working to halt Iran's nuclear program
• Prioritizing finding terrorists rather than just sifting through everyone’s private emails and endangering our most fundamental rights.
• Letting the Bush administration get away with its unconstitutional abuse of power and not moving swiftly toward impeachment.
• Knowing a Republican Senator has the civility and intelligence to quit using phrases like “Democrat majority.”
5. From conversations with friends, neighbors, and family who are interested in the issues listed below, which do you believe is most important to the greatest number of voters?
• Allowing the "Surge" strategy time to work
• Renewing President Bush's terrorist surveillance program
• Implementing real border security
• Working to halt Iran's nuclear program
• A law-abiding presidential administration.
• The monumental debt-load incurred by this short-sighted, corrupt, self-serving administration.
• An energy policy that doesn’t stick us with $4.00 per gallon gasoline at the same time as oil companies’ profits are soaring.
6. President Bush has shown great resolve in his determination to stabilize Iraq and deny terrorists seeking to harm the U.S. a safe haven. Do you feel the Republicans in Congress have stood strong with President Bush on Iraq?
• Yes
• Room for Improvement
• No
• Beyond all reason or hope.
7. Which issue would you like to see the Republican presidential nominee John McCain pursue most aggressively on your behalf?
• Cutting spending
• Continuing the "Surge" strategy and the War on Terror
• Making President Bush's tax cuts permanent
• Nominating conservative judges
• Securing our borders
• Condemning corrupt Republicans.
• Getting all those messy factions in the Middle East straight in his head.
• Losing the election.
8. Which of the following accomplishments do you feel is President Bush's greatest achievement?
• Historic tax cuts
• Prosecuting the War on Terror
• Medicare prescription drug plan
• Supreme Court Justices John Roberts and Samuel Alito
• Biggest national debt ever.
• Responsible for killing hundreds of thousands more Iraqis than Saddam Hussein ever did.
• Most corrupt presidency to date.

And seriously: Why do the GOP congressidiots continue to insist on using such phrases as “Democrat Party”? It was a stupid idea in the first place, but to continue it this long is like watching a college-aged kid refer to a classmate with an insulting childhood taunt. These bizarre kindergarten tactics are beneath them, but they continue to insist upon it to my eternal bafflement. The Democratic members of Congress are more mature than that, at least—they could start using “Republicant” if they so chose (for that matter, they could certainly experiment with the vowel sound in that last syllable). But they don’t. And in so doing, they come off as more mature, more dignified, more adult than the Republicans who resort to that sort of taunting.